Post-Modern Legends

Most of our legends are harmless-
I'll be the first to admit that's true,
And they're the source of great literature:
Inspiring a thousand generations before me and you.

But some fantasies are incredibly destructive,
And it's against these I fight tooth and claw:
Namely the privileged, and socially-encouraged delusions,
That people need to murder to please their 'god',

or adults, who refuse to take
responsibility for their own actions,
cause nothing is ever their fault-

everything that goes wrong
is a sinister conspiracy:
the dog-whistle politics
didn't come when whey were called,

'cause they were in the black helicopters with the Elders of Zion,
following the drones spraying chemtrails on their way
to the Trilateral Bilderberg Commission meeting
at the Masonic Lodge and the Bohemian Grove-

being hosted by the Windsors and Habsburgs
in their full, reptilian glory,
with the bathtub-stuck ghost of President Taft,
and the Omega Chapter of Skull & Bones.

And after dinner they go rot-spraying with Monsanto
for Novus Ordo Seclorum
and MK-ULTRA mind control
paid for by the clubs of Paris and Rome...

They're coming for your guns
and they're coming for your Bible
so we'd better save up our Ameros
to spend in our new FEMA Concentration Camp homes.

But if I want to effectively fight
against these persistent modern legends,
I know just what it is
that I'm gonna have to do...

I need to drink only
grain alcohol and rainwater,
because I'll be as weak as the crab people
if I don't keep my precious bodily fluids pure.